Comments on Hard Boiled: A Donor Egg Blog: Egg donor child: Video!

Wow. What a great story. I've been looking for f...

2010-08-17T18:15:58.066-04:00

Wow. What a great story. I've been looking for fertility blogs and I'm excited I've found yours. I started one a couple of weeks ago to cope with my infertility adventures. It's http://thatonebasket.wordpress.com Adventures in Inftertility and TTC: Personal Story of a Professional Counselor. I'd love to have you check it out, and I'm so excited to keep reading your exciting blog. Thank you so much for writing this. It's great to hear about other brave women going through this.

Um, yeah, I'd say you are projecting. ;D Which i...

2010-08-04T16:03:15.142-04:00

Um, yeah, I'd say you are projecting. ;D Which is completely understandable when you are just contemplating this difficult experience.

I don't think Allegra looked like she was having a nervous breakdown at all, and if she likes the fact that her donor's identity is mysterious and in her words, a miracle -- then that is OK for her and her parents. I have a friend who's adopted and she's told me that although she's always been curious, she feels no great need to know her birth parents. And I've read of exactly the opposite experience. So it all depends on how the children feel when they are grown, if they're told about their origins.

What is meant by "the vanity aspect of it from the dad's point of view" -- I don't know what you're getting at there.

I do wish that my clinic had facilitated an exchange of information between donor and prospective parents so the girls could meet her when they are older if they want. But that was not an option. I did ask to be matched with someone who was open to that and was told informally that my donor said she'd be willing -- but she's under no obligation to do that, or even to keep the clinic informed of address changes. So I don't know how it will work out. It is a worry for me.

And to the other Anonymous, my favorite support board is this one:
Looking to be a Mom Thru DE. The people there are wonderful. Be sure and tell them Bee said "Hi!"

Bullshit! "It's supposed to be a mystery." No, it'...

2010-08-04T10:43:10.797-04:00

Bullshit! "It's supposed to be a mystery." No, it's not!

This is not a small matter. And not one word on the vanity aspect of it from the dad's point of view. In fact very little mention of this in these discussions.

Bravo to the kid and her parents (and her brother) for being so coherent. But this terrifies me (prospective IVF/DE... Dad, I should add). She seems on the edge of a nervous breakdown, frankly. Or maybe I'm just projecting.

I absolutely LOVED this video and the young lady i...

2010-07-22T04:32:10.081-04:00

I absolutely LOVED this video and the young lady in it. I really have to applaud her mother for helping her be so articulate, and together and just proud of her identity. That is tough landscape for a teen to navigate even when their genetic makeup is derived from both of their parents. My husband and I are going through the decision process of using egg donation. We have an absolutely fantastic 2 year old son together and have been trying to have another child, but recently were told that we have secondary infertility. I have some of the same apprehensions as Susan, and worry that any children that we have from using DE would always have questions about the donor. Questions that we would not be able to answer about a person who we would know so little about. I also wonder if the information is something that should be shared just with the child, your entire family, extended family, friends, or is it best to share the information with the child conceived through DE and let them decide what to do with that information once they are older? I am curious about the impact. Do you know of any online support groups with whom I might be able to engage in discussion regarding decisions and feelings surrounding DE?
Thanks so much for the post! It has left me searching for answers but that can be a good thing.

I think that this is absolutely amazing!!! Thanks...

2010-05-06T22:31:29.308-04:00

I think that this is absolutely amazing!!! Thanks for posting!

Hi! I've really enjoyed your blog. I am SO happy t...

2010-04-23T09:56:05.728-04:00

Hi! I've really enjoyed your blog. I am SO happy to see how positive this whole egg donor experience has been for you.I am 37 and have been through the Clomid, IVF, etc...my ovaries are failing. We are about to start the egg donor process and I just wanted to ask you a few questions. I couldnt' make the contact section work. My email address is: jenndama@hotmail.com
Thank you in advance for reading this. God Bless!
Jenn

Wow----thanks so much for sharing that.

2010-04-13T18:40:24.448-04:00

Wow----thanks so much for sharing that.

We chose a family member to be the egg donor, so i...

2010-04-07T23:39:28.065-04:00

We chose a family member to be the egg donor, so it is definitely not a family secret (which in my family is nearly an impossible task). We plan to discuss egg donation with our child, I am currently in my first trimester, when we feel it is the right time. This child will have siblings as well via the donor and that is going to be a more complicated conversation. Anyone have this experience or know any resources about this?

I'm not going to be popular but- we have chosent n...

2010-04-01T12:08:04.919-04:00

I'm not going to be popular but- we have chosent not to tell our six year old daughters of their origin. We have older biological children and it was with a great deal of thought that we arrived at our decision. We told no one of our struggle with infertility and we feel no need to open up the entire thorny subject. They are all brothers and sisters. End of story.

We want our children to feel just this way! They a...

2010-03-31T16:33:30.915-04:00

We want our children to feel just this way! They are 3-1/2 and 2-1/2, boy and girl. Best thing we ever did, and we've been talking about "the donor" since they were born. Our son will say "tell me about the donor" every day for a while, then forget about it. Our counselor says we should bring it up twice a year, like daylight savings time!

My partner and I watched the video and loved it. T...

2010-03-23T03:14:03.009-04:00

My partner and I watched the video and loved it. Thanks for sharing. We are about to fly from Australia to South Africa for our first egg donation IVF cycle. I can only hope our child is as well balanced about their origins as this child. It is certainly our aim to tell from the get go. Why don't these stories get more press than the current 'human egg raffle' story from the UK. It would be much more helpful for all concerned. Hope you don't mind if I share it on my blog as well (if I can figure out how to).

Hi. We're just about to do a donor egg cycle in th...

2010-03-07T14:20:49.539-05:00

Hi. We're just about to do a donor egg cycle in the UK. Counselling is a prerequisite for this in the UK, and we were strongly advised that - if we are successful - we make it so that the child knows its origins from the get-go. As in, making it a fact of life, talking about it before the child is even aware. Research (and my own experience talking to friends who are adopted) suggests that the earlier a child knows the truth of its origins, the better it will handle any implications. I love this video, and I just hope that I might end up with such a cool kid!

Thank you for this. My daughter is 10 months old (...

2010-02-05T15:14:46.077-05:00

Thank you for this. My daughter is 10 months old (DE and DS). I sometimes get a crippling sense of fear when I think about telling her about her genetic origins. I worry that she will hate me for the decisions we made. This video makes me a little braver.
Thanks for sharing.

I saw this video on Dora's blog, it is heartwarmin...

2010-01-29T14:41:57.279-05:00

I saw this video on Dora's blog, it is heartwarming. If I EVER get knocked up with DE (currently trying for the 4th time) we plan to tell. Early on, like you. I think there are some books that others have recommended for this purpose - aimed at toddler age children. Good luck!

That is such a balanced child. Wow. She is so ma...

2010-01-28T23:45:49.025-05:00

That is such a balanced child. Wow. She is so mature and articulate. Thanks for sharing the video.